Moving to Germany is still overwhelming, but nice

Needless to say that the main reason why I don’t post often is because of laziness. It’s hard to admit, but I always try to keep things as realistic as possible.

To be fair to myself, I swear I think about writing here… sometimes. But then, a wave of thoughts come to my mind, and I realize how many things I want to do, I should do and must do.
The prioritization of tasks is rather simple: Things I must do come first. Then come things I should do, very tight to things that I want to do.

The top tasks in the list seem reasonably obvious. They include paying taxes, keeping the house clean, going to work, you know, basic stuff. There are some minor things that can be postponed, although I should probably never do that, but it happens, and as an adult, I am prepared to face the consequences of it.

The 2 other groups of tasks, are a little more tricky to prioritize because they come with a social pressure with them. I explain:

I should study more tech stuff, to keep up to date with the latest framework and find my place in the market, just like the cool kids do all the time. And I am not saying that I don’t do it. I just don’t do it as people claim they do (I am not also saying they just claim it. I believe they actually do stuff). Then, I feel guilty. And that guilt remains stored somewhere in my brain.

Then, as I get close to my 40 years and all that mid age crisis story, I think: “You know what? I will take care of myself. Get healthier, buy some clothes and read some books. Yeah, I deserve it!”. This is as true and important as studying new technologies and keeping myself competitive enough so thousands of recruiters on Linkedin don’t stop bothering me (its a joke, guys. Please keep contacting me 😀 ).

Then, when I think about personal improvement, the guilt of not being doing something “more productive” gets smaller, even though is still there in some sort of dark and forgotten corner of my brain.

This is the point where things get more complicated, which forces me to prioritize tasks between these 2 things, in an attempt to keep a balance between them. Not to mention that these 2 groups of tasks mix up a little bit. For example, being a good developer makes me feel good, what improves my mental health. Or, being in better shape helps me to have more energy while I am at work.

At this point you might have wondered: “What does Germany have to do with that? Aren’t those problems faced by everyone “. Yes! But… I still struggle with a few things in Germany, being the most relevant one, to learn the language.

As most of people realize, German is a tough language, and it can be frightening, especially because of those big words, like Zulassungsbescheinigung (I admit, I wrote it by myself, but had to check on Google Translate to make sure I spelled it right. And I missed 3 letters).

However, I find German a beautiful language, very rich and complete as it is complex and full of grammatical rules.

My mistake is that I might have underestimated the learning curve, due to my excitement about the language. I might have took for granted how hard it is to learn it.

Right now, I am at level A2.1, which means I actually have some stable knowledge up to the level A1.2, which is very basic, and assuming that a good level is considered B2. I skipped so many home works, which means I barely practiced what I learned. At the moment, I have been studying and reviewing all stuff I’ve seen so far.

Getting back to the original topic, and bringing this post to its end, there are some days where I decide to skip my self taught German language to take a look into NodeJS, Meteor or React. But no matter what I look into, I always feel guilty that I am not working on the other task!!!

And remember the social pressure I mentioned earlier? This is where it kicks in, to make things worse. While I am studying whatever, something in mind keeps saying “oh, so now you are studying MeteorJS? Isn’t a little too late? And what about React? Shouldn’t you know that for at least 2 years already? And drop this chocolate bar immediately, you chubby bearded nerd”.

It might sound a little concerning, but in reality it’s less rough than it sounds. Actually, I can easily write this with a smile in my face. The point here is: things will pretty much always be like that, unless I let go 2 tasks and focus on one. And this is something I don’t see myself doing for the next 10 to 20 years at least.

You guys have been great. Thanks, and good night!